To my midwife: I’m sorry. This will hurt.

I miss you every day. It sounds weird, doesn't it? To miss a care provider? But I do and it's uncomfortable and scary for me to write this and set it free. I'm not writing this post to hurt your feelings, to get you in trouble, or to encourage your firing. Rather, I'm writing this to help the countless women who will read this and nod their heads, finally knows that they too are not alone......because women feel utterly alone when it comes to their sad, damaged pelvic floors and vaginas.

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I’m sorry but I can’t hear you

I was aswake last night. Aswake, you know that feeling when you're mostly asleep but have your ears on red alert waiting to intercept the screams before they wake the rest of the house. I'm not sure how many times I woke with a jump, sure I had heard a scream for dad or mama. … Continue reading I’m sorry but I can’t hear you

Sadness, grief, depression: The dark side of prolapse

Pelvic organ prolapse (POP) is common. Very, very common. The more babies you have and the older you get will increase your chances of experience POP. You might have only one prolapse or (like me) you'll have a couple. And don't think for a second that avoiding having babies or scheduling a cesarean section will … Continue reading Sadness, grief, depression: The dark side of prolapse

Prolapseasaurus: my post-baby vagina

It's one thing to have a prolapse (or other assorted pelvic floor dysfunction awfulness) but it's a whole other ballgame when the health professional across from you says to stop doing the things you need to in order to live your life. Like, lifting heavy bags of groceries, putting a baby in an infant car seat into your vehicle, picking up your toddler when he's in the having a massive meltdown in the middle of the store and you need to dash.

Be the Change. A Reminder of Graciousness.

Awful begets more awful, both online and off. It bleeds into every facet of our lives and damages our relationships. New families in crisis are the canaries in this emotional coal mine because when we refuse to extend graciousness to others it leads to chronic disease, ennui, poor mental health, and isolation. We're just a bunch of glorious fuck ups trying to make meaning and live the best lives we can.